In the final installment of my femininity series I will be discussing how femininity and self-care compliment one another and when integrated can create and overall dynamic and healed woman.
Both femininity and self - care, combined, have been HUGE parts of my personal healing journey. The integration and practicing of each have allowed me to heal, grow, nurture my inner goddess, and gain confidence; becoming the woman I was truly meant to be. Focusing my thoughts and actions around being more feminine have directly increased my self-care practices; I started to pay more attention to my happiness, my needs, my wants and desires.
A combined journey.
Literally as I type this blog I am watching my most favorite show in the world- RuPaul's Drag Race, drinking my absolute favorite ginger Kombucha, and sitting here with a charcoal face mask on. Each of these things not only put a smile on my face, but very much bring me back to life when I need to do so. When I am doing these things, and others, they make me happy...like really, REALLY HAPPY! But also if ever I am feeling sad, stressed, or overwhelmed these bring rejuvenate me.
For me, self-care is simply the ability to refresh your spirit, to make yourself happy, or to make yourself happy...again!
Self-care is very much a journey, to say the least, not only does it consist of actions, but very much thoughts. The practice includes actions that you're taking to better yourself, which of course manifests into your thoughts and mind-frame. In my opinion, femininity and self-care have a lot to do with one another. As I have mentioned in my past blogs about femininity, it has a lot to do with receiving, which many of us particularly women could be better at in order to decrease stress and burnouts. Allowing yourself to receive means that you love and value yourself, it affirms that you are deserving.
Benefits of receiving.
Being able to receive, not only gifts, but blessings, energy, healing, etc., is imperative to be able to heal and "level up". When you affirm that you are important, deserving, and worthy, it places you in a position where not only will others start pouring into you, but also it forces you to start doing things that make you happy; you begin to pour into yourself! There's nothing wrong with receiving, or giving, but as I have pointed out many times women, especially Black women, we have put ourselves in a position where we are giving way too much, and getting little to none in reciprocity. Being on the receiving end of things can boost your confidence; there's nothing wrong with feeling good about how others treat you, just do not allow how others treat you to be your only source of confidence.
Self love and the level up.
Leveling up is a mindset!
Again you have to declare that you are worthy! You are deserving! That you are important! (Say this affirmation everyday, sometimes several times per day, until it is drilled in your mind!)
You can definitely use femininity to "level up", it is simply going after the things you want. It starts with loving yourself, seeing value in yourself, and wanting more for YOU! It doesn't matter who wants you to be better or sees your potential; if it doesn't come from inside of you, you will not get far. Many that speak on level up, discuss going after material things such a homes, cars, businesses, relationships with wealthy men, or becoming a wealthy person themselves; now don't get me wrong if you find these are your personal desires absolutely: GO AFTER THEM! You deserve them!
For me the level up has been all mental. When I started seeing more value in myself, the level up looked a bit different for me. For me that meant going after the things that bring me peace, happiness, and focus; better known as my self-care routines. My level up is more about simply improving me...for me. I have no person, no thing, or materials in mind that I am bettering myself for, for the first time, this is all for me and my benefit only. In turn, if it does make me a better partner, business associate, employment candidate, etc..that's a bonus!
My self -care routines and femininity practices somewhat feed off of each other. They both are responsible for making me feel whole and mentally healthy.
Whether it's ...
-cooking(which allows me to be creative and nurturing to myself and others)
-taking a selfie(which allows me to look at all my natural angles and spend time looking at myself, giving myself dozens of compliments; in turn increasing my confidence!)
-doing charity work (which is feeding my natural feminine desire to nurture and also my internal need to do for others)
Or simply relaxing imply doing nothing at all.
They all make me feel whole again, confident, womanly, and very much of value not only to others, but to myself!
I hope you all enjoyed this read, to see different self-care routines I practice, be sure check out my IGtv video from National Self-Care Day, July 24th.
