Exactly a year ago is when I had my wake up call that truly sparked my self-care journey...
On my way to set up an event, exactly one year ago today, one day after my 29th birthday, I got into a car accident in my brand new Jeep that I had gotten two days prior to that day. And it’s was my fault. It’s every worse nightmare of a professional who does events; be it planner, vendor, etc. To get into an accident or something much worse on their way to an event.
I didn’t post on social media and only my immediate friends and family knew. My car was pretty fine, just a broken fog light and bent license plate. The other person's car had some damage to it, still not severe, but they were both shook up. I was even shook up. The ladies I ran into the back of were older, and coincidentally were involved in an accident just one week prior I learned. I felt HORRIBLE about this!
The craziest part is immediately after it happened my first and only thought was “if I don’t set up soon I’m going to disappoint my client”. My first thought was not even to call my insurance company, police, etc. but to call my client and let her know I might be running late. I ultimately did not call her because I did not want to stress her out. So I called my parents first who calmed me down and told me to call the police, insurance company, and exchange info.
But I had to really truly analyze why that was my first thought. The fact that none of that came in my mind initially I don’t think it was due to shock, but was due to me really not wanting to disappoint my client and making sure that their special day was still special. Regardless of what happened to me.
At this time I was so invested in not only my business but each individual client. My mom saw it months before this and I fought her on this but she was absolutely right! I had to dig deep to understand why I had this unhealthy thinking of putting myself last.
That’s why self care is so important, knowing your worth is so important. As I have said many times: Your value does not come from how much others love you or what you can do for them. It comes from inside. It comes from you.
Back then I didn’t understand this, but later that night I did. I declared at that time that I can love others but I have to take time for myself, I have to slow down. Literally.
Also I have to focus on one thing at a time, sometimes.
During this pandemic, many have added on more business and I applaud them for that. For me I have used this pandemic, especially during the lock down in early spring, to downsize my business. To be able to focus more on me, get to the root cause of why I felt the need to put myself last. Finding my own value and self-worth, creating more compassion for myself. And to finally get to a place where I don't feel guilty about putting myself first. From that I grew a love for self-care that I wanted to share with everyone, which made me start this blog!
When you're not effectively taking care of yourself ie. practicing self-care and putting yourself first, it takes away from your self preservation. Self-care comes in so many forms as I have stated in my blogs(therapy, beauty, meditation, femininity, etc.). It impacts our overall wellbeing.
To prevent you from crashing, literally like I did, be sure to practice better self-care to prevent that from happening.
Here are 9 ways to practice emotional self-care:
1. Learn to say “no.”
2. Intentionally schedule “me time” on your calendar or planner.
3. Reward yourself for completing small tasks.
4. Use online tutorials to learn something new.
5. Develop a relaxing evening ritual.
6. Try some mindful exercises to help bring you into the present moment.
7. Remind yourself of the good stuff in life by writing a list of things you’re grateful to have.
8. Take a moment to allow your feelings to be present without judging them.
9. Allow yourself to make mistakes.